Despite Election, PC Expanding

[Nemo]

Political correctness gets to Appalachia.

Nemo

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , people who live in or are from northeast Alabama , north Georgia , Kentucky , Tennessee and West Virginia will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES'.

You must now refer to them as:
“APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.”


And furthermore, HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a 'BREASTED AMERICAN.'

2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a ’LOW COST PROVIDER.'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN.”

3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He ”INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'  (Don’t you love this one?)

6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.

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