I'm not aware of any amateur headset that will do what you wish to do. I guess if you wish to use your ear protection headset to monitor radio transmissions the you would need a separate independent push to talk microphone. At work, some of the Forest Ranger have heavy duty noise reduction headsets that do allow them to monitor radio transmissions and transmit too while wearing hard hats, but the headsets are humongous. They use mostly David Clark gear, and DC makes headsets for most radios, but be prepared to pay dearly. I've used David Clark headsets throughout my aviation career and I feel they are worth the money, but I don't think they would fit normal tactical situations.
Vertex, a Motorola subsidiary, also makes similar headsets. The good thing is that most headsets that fit the Baofengs will also fit most Kenwood portables too. I currently use a headset similar to this one:
https://www.amazon.com/Retevis-Earpiece-Cancelling-Headphone-Overhead/dp/B00L7DM930/ref=pd_sbs_107_39 The head band does fit under my bump/NVD helmet, and I just use a molded plug ear protector in the other ear. I also use the same headset for driving.
I've also used the acoustic tube microphones/ear piece, but I haven't had much luck with them. The acoustic tube sets aren't very durable and the transmit audio sucks. They're impossible to use in high noise environments, like riding a motorcycle. I consider them to be a disposable piece of equipment, like the Baofeng.
Did Brushbeater have any recommendations? It would seem that the military operators would have the best experience with this type of gear.