Unchained Preppers
Off Topic/ B.S. => Trench Humor => Topic started by: CrookedSights on March 02, 2013, 02:40:10 AM
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When you take the dog out to shit after 2am and some random presumably homeless vagrant comes out of nowhere and.. " Hey man how ya do'in? Wanna buy a...." As he's rummaging through his bags my hand goes to the small of my back and all I'm thinking is " Fuck am I gonna have to..." Then he pulls out a cir saw. " Ya wanna buy it?" " No, I'm broke." "Ya sure?" "Yeah I'm sure." "Well ok man." Takes him forever to put the damn, highly probable, stolen thing back in the bag. In the process dropping and breaking it, picks up most of it and puts it the bag and just stands there awkwardly for awhile, then gets on his bike and rides away.
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Last dude who tried to sell me a stolen saw got the pickaxe handle [url=http://www.freesmileys.or
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LOL.
Reminds me of a time a pan handler and I had a discussion in a 7-11.
I had just started working for West Marine and it was my first managers meeting in Santa Cruz, Ca. The night before the meeting several of us crossed the road from the Motel to buy some adult beverages and high energy food (chips, beef jerky, etc).
Just outside the 7-11 there was a pan-handler asking for money. I told him I had none and brushed past him as I entered the store.
I had the beer cooler door open, trying to decide what to buy when I hear from behind, "I thought you said you have no money?" When I turned around there stood the pan handler.
I was rather annoyed so I grabbed his throat and shoved his head into the now closed cooler door and told him to," LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"
Once I released him he ran out of the 7-11 screaming his head off. I looked around and everybody was staring at me in statuette like poses as if frozen in time. I said something profane like, "What?" Grabbed my beer walked up to the clerk; bought it and left for the motel. Later to be toasted by my new comrades back at the motel.
All but one were Californians and were shocked by what I had done. Well I was from Philly and what I did was nothing compared to other things I had done in my shady youth. [url=http://www.freesmileys.or
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oh man this one time i was in the shitty part of denver, guy asked me for a dollar, i told him i was broke, and he pulled out a dollar and said do you need a dollar?
i said no and walked on
thats the most aggressive bum i ever run across in this state :))
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Mntn LOL.
Well, Santa Cruz and Seattle bums are very aggressive as their rights are protected by city hall. Heck (When I lived there) the city even gave them $300- a month.
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i never give money. I've given everything from sandwitches, chicken tenders, even a king cake (google if you don't know what that is). but I'll be damned if I give money. fuck your drugs. I'll feed you, but I won't pay for your drug/alcohol habit that is most likely the reason you're a useless leech in the first place.
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Mental note: Don't ask JM for a dollar. ;D
I never give out money, often times the panhandler probably has more money in his pocket than I usually do. If your hungry, I'll try and feed you. If your stranded, I will try and help you get gas. If your in a bad spot, I will try and listen. I will not fund your drug or alcohol addiction.
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I bout blasted a weirdo this morning. Fucking Weirdo turned down a sandwich from the guy in front of me then wondered outside in his/her gown drape shower curtain thing. I get in my truck and the fuckin thing starts roaming towards me. Luckily I had enough time to drop it in gear before it got to close. Would have gotten a quick little 85 grain through my window and I would have been beyond pissed off if it would have tried something.
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Crudos, thanks to you I just sprayed my new laptop with Chardonnay laughing. "Mental note: Don't ask JM for a dollar."
Sorry guys...I do not like pan handlers one damn bit.
Another funny pan handler story...
I was standing in line at a Starbucks in Edinburgh. Our father had just given me, my brother, his son and my wife a personal tour of Edinburgh castle. We were resting outside the castle and I spotted a Starbucks across the street. I was getting a little tired of tea so I took a quick coffee order from the family; walked across the street and entered the shop.
There was about six or so folks "qued up" in front of me and a pan handler was vying his trade by asking everybody in line for money. Most folks just ignored him but a few gave him a bob or two.
When he got to me in a rather stern but not loud voice I said, "If you touch me I will kill you." He took a step back and I then said, "and if you don't leave NOW I will kick your ass."
He turned on his heels and left the Starbucks without saying a word.
I turned to resume my position in line and everybody was staring at me with open mouths. When it was my turn to order my fru fru coffee drinks I was treated with an unusual degree of politeness and quickness. LOL.
I guess those folks got a taste of a pissed off yank. :))
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JM, it baffles the mind that they didn't accept your offer to be a goodwill ambassador.
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I'm starting to see JMac in a different light. :o
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I'm starting to see JMac in a different light. :o
The old mean bastard that always yelled at you for walking on his grass??? Nah. Had him pegged already :P
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One thing you guys got to know about ol'JMac... he wasn't always old...
Age mellows a man.
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One thing you guys got to know about ol'JMac... he wasn't always old...
Age mellows a man.
Well if he's mellow now...I'm kind of afraid to even think of the douche as a whipper snapper. ;) love ya jm just busting your balls.
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I'm just upset that we've missed the opportunity...
Sounds like 20 year old me and 20 year old Mac could have ran this town!
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I'm just upset that we've missed the opportunity...
Sounds like 20 year old me and 20 year old Mac could have ran this town!
That was a grand total of 165 years ago bro.... O0
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Fuck you guys! [img]http://www.arrse.co.uk/at :)) ;)
EDIT: TG that's for sure! "Sounds like 20 year old me and 20 year old Mac could have ran this town!"
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until our hearts blew out ;)
"Say hello to my little friend!"
(http://file029.bebo.com/6/large/2007/01/20/03/481158347a3272054461b894933449l.jpg)
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Yeah TG, you got it! [URL=http://www.smileyvault.co
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I hate pan handlers and I constantly have to deal with the "homeless" at one of my jobs. When I first got hired someone tried to warn me not to have sympathy and was about to go into a big lecture. I just cut them off and said "if the shitbags wanted to get out of that situation they would." They wanna do what the fuck they want to and not have to take responsibility for themselves so the drink, get high and when its cold they wanna crash in "MY HOUSE"? Hell no... They get no sympathy and no respect from me.
And should I need to go hands on with one of those nasty fuckers, I have a feeling they are going to be a bit more clumsy and accident prone that night lol. ;D