ANAA

[JoJo]

 I wasn't sure if I should have put this in "News and Politics" or here in Trench Humor.

ANAA ("Americans
with No Abilities Act")

 

The Senate is considering a sweeping legislative bill sponsored by the Democratic Party that will provide
new benefits for many more Americans. The "Americans With No Abilities Act" is being hailed by the mainstream media as a major legislative goal of advocates for the millions of Americans who lack any real skills and ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful
role for themselves in society," said California Sen. Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow "People of Inability" (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small
group of smart workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing."

In a Capitol Hill press conference, Nancy Pelosi pointed to the success of government hiring Persons
with No Ability (63%).

Under the "Americans With No Abilities Act", more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created,
with important-sounding titles, but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to guarantee upward mobility for
even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of "Persons of Inability" (POI) into middle-management positions, and give a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses
that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the "Americans With No Abilities Act" contains tough new measures to make it more difficult
to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory hiring interview questions such as, "Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?"

"As a non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,"
said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Mich., due to her inability to remember “righty tighty, lefty loosey”. "This new law should be real good for people like me. I'll finally have job security." With the
passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Sen. Dick Durbin,II: "As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected
officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation, and a good salary for
doing so."

 

This message was approved by Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Nancy Pelosi and
Maxine Waters

[Nemo]

The real headache of it is that I can actually see one of the reported (above) signatories filing that to become law.

Nemo

[grizz]

Isn't that the description of congress? They have zero skills regardless of their education and yet they are over paid to do nothing more than whine all day