Shambutter

[rah45]

I was thinking of some of the members we lost at L&L or after SP was founded, and reminded of some good times we had. I remembered back on L&L, a fun time with SheepDogWTX, and thought I'd repost this. This happened with him on a BlogTV, it carried over between us and some other guys to the forum, and just blew up. It was great. We actually went over to UrbanDictionary and made an entry to describe it, which I thought I'd share here with you guys. Some have seen it, some haven't.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Shambutter&defid=5212864

Shambutter

Shambutter originated as a joke among a group of friends. When discussing methods to clean a firearm, one friend revealed that he lubed his using a cream that bikers put between their naked skin and "shammies" to eliminate chafing. As a result of the conversation, "Shambutter" was born.

Shambutter is used to lube anything. You can lube your firearms with it, not only guaranteeing its functionality but also extending its lifespan by several decades. You may, with permission of course, lube your "partner" with it if so desired. Shambutter, when mixed with water (aka "shammywater"), provides a very nutritious drink that, unbelievably, slides down the throat even more effortlessly than water itself. It also lubes your organs on the way down. These are just a few examples of what shambutter can do. In fact, the better question to ask is "What CAN'T shambutter do?" It cannot cure cancer. Yet. It cannot prevent death, but it may forestall it depending on its usage. It does not guarantee that your sex life will improve, but if you do attempt it you will definitely be one slick son of a gun. Also, it does not guarantee that you will be bulletproof, as it will not stop a bullet fired at a perfect 90 degree angle. However, if you are naked and completely covered with shambutter, any variation in degree of the bullet other than a 90 degree angle will most definitely result in the bullet sliding off your body with no harm to you whatsoever.

I'm completing a paper about the extreme benefits of using shambutter to increase the reproduction rate of panda bears.

[Ghost]

THANK YOU!

[Veritas]

LOL!!

I was there on that BlogTV.  That makes your post that much more hillarious.


Well done, Rah!

[Skippy00004]

Hahaha, I forgot all about this!

 [URL=http://www.smileyvault.co

[RS762]

Dat Shambutter

[Kentactic]

Also please test its affects on reducing the reproduction rates of illegal aliens ASAP, thanks!  [url=http://www.freesmileys.or

[rah45]

Also please test its affects on reducing the reproduction rates of illegal aliens ASAP, thanks! 

We've had our Customer Service Dept working on that for a while. The problem is that penetration is barely achievable due to slippage around the target area. We're working on finding a way for shambutter to recognize these target areas and seek them out...so far, we've had no success.

[goodnightChesty1775]

aahh this again 

[Veritas]

Oh shit....

Looks like someone is moving in on our market.


http://www.botachtactical.com/2tbu.html


We'd better get the lawyers on the horn.....

[goodnightChesty1775]

that is awesome! i actually might pick some of that up and try it out for shits and gigs, it sucks getting monkey butt chukar hunting humping up and down those freaking mountains is bad enough, but when you've got diaper rash essentially it really sucks.

[special-k]

Oh shit....

Looks like someone is moving in on our market.


http://www.botachtactical.com/2tbu.html


We'd better get the lawyers on the horn.....

I checked into it....it's not the same...you can't lube your firearm with it.

[sledge]

Oh shit....

Looks like someone is moving in on our market.


http://www.botachtactical.com/2tbu.html


We'd better get the lawyers on the horn.....

The bastards!  Looks like it's a copycat made in China.  To combat their marketing we'll have to do a Pepsi Challenge type of comparison promotion.   Set up a table, let participants apply each and ask, "Which one do you like better?"   

[Kobalt]

Where can I get some shambutter?

[rah45]

Oh shit....

Looks like someone is moving in on our market.


http://www.botachtactical.com/2tbu.html


We'd better get the lawyers on the horn.....

I checked into it....it's not the same...you can't lube your firearm with it.

Yes, there are quite a few things wrong with it...observe:

What ButtShield? (Shambutter) brings to the table:

? Eliminates the friction that causes irritation[,] chaffing, divorces, and firearm malfunctions.
? Prevents Friction Burns, Saddle Sores, Butt Rashes, Death (in certain situations - see your local Shambutter dealer for details), Boredom, and World War III.
? Lasts all day, even under the most extreme conditions - Shambutter lasts for eternity, unless the accompanying Shambutter removal is applied - please see package for details.
? Non-staining, Non-toxic, Non-Greasy, invisible.
? No messy powder or cream...in fact, no one knows what Shambutter actually is. There is presently no term in the English language to describe it. It is like an autonomous gelatinous mass, except that it also resembles a cloud of serenity and a rock of pure awesomeness at the exact same time. *Disclaimer: Due to thorough testing, our lab experts are fairly certain that Shambutter will never harm you on its own accord. We do suggest not taking out frustration on it, though...shambutter is invincible to all modern weapons (including the nuclear option, as well as star explosions). Users run the risk of harming themselves through an attempt to damage Shambutter.
? Easy roll-on applicator, though it is unnecessary. Shambutter is designed to, once the container is opened by its owner's hands, exit of its own accord, proceeding to the desired destination in the exact amount required to perform the job.
? Waterproof, radiation-proof and STD-resistant.

***Warning*** Shambutter was specifically designed to be used by humans who are in full control of their faculties. Users who are mentally, emotionally, or physically incapable of responsibly controlling Shambutter will find it impossible to utilize the product. Shambutter is engineered to project a defensive field that will render all attempts by unqualified persons useless, by instantly making the subject unconscious. *Note: Certain test subjects reporting feeling hit by a brick wall, but this is not verified. ****


****By "certain," we mean "all," and by "not verified," we mean "this is factual, but we're not admitting to it."

[WhiskeyJack]

And remember folks ShamButter is the only product clinicly proven to make you gun and your penis larger.
Thats right!! And if you call in the next ten minuets we will double your order. Thats Right folks two tubs of shambutter for the low low price of $19.99

BUTT WAIT THERES MORE!!!!!!!!!!!
Call right now and we will throw in, Not ONE!!!, Not TWO!!!, Butt THREE cans of FULL RETARD Energy drink.
Yes folks that three cans of Full Retard, ITS AWSOME IN A CAN!!!!!!!!
Combined with ShamButter, Full Retard it the perfect Drink for SHTF!!!!!!
Not only will you be bullet and chaff proof, You will have never ending hollywood magazines and the ability to snipe with handguns!!!!!
Full Retard is the only product that will make Cuck Noris afraid of YOU!!!!!!!!

Quantities are limited ORDER YOURS today!!!!!!!! [url=http://www.freesmileys.or


 

[sledge]

And remember folks ShamButter is the only product clinicly proven to make you gun and your penis larger.
Thats right!! And if you call in the next ten minuets we will double your order. Thats Right folks two tubs of shambutter for the low low price of $19.99

BUTT WAIT THERES MORE!!!!!!!!!!!
Call right now and we will throw in, Not ONE!!!, Not TWO!!!, Butt THREE cans of FULL RETARD Energy drink.
Yes folks that three cans of Full Retard, ITS AWSOME IN A CAN!!!!!!!!
Combined with ShamButter, Full Retard it the perfect Drink for SHTF!!!!!!
Not only will you be bullet and chaff proof, You will have never ending hollywood magazines and the ability to snipe with handguns!!!!!
Full Retard is the only product that will make Cuck Noris afraid of YOU!!!!!!!!

Quantities are limited ORDER YOURS today!!!!!!!!

Damn Whiskey, You've got me looking for my credit card!  LOL!  That was good advertisement!   

[Veritas]

Hell ya man, that was funny.

"Full Retard.....It'll make you lick windows!"

[WhiskeyJack]

LMAO