Gadget, that puppy is adorable...
I would how ever be greatly interested in your personal objective assesment of your ptsd. A few guys from my troop were diagnosed with ptsd post deployment. Who experienced largely the same events I did yet I do not have night terrors, flashback s or any other debilitating psychological drawbacks. Given that the guys seemed completely composed and stable pre dep, and plus the high amount of respect I had for them professionally. It let me to consider that perhapse I was the the one with issues. ..
Like so many things in life the only become clear with the propper contrast providing context. And to be honest I dont think I can choke down an other "To Iraq and back" type book crammed with as much self translating vagaries as your average religious text. So if you'd like to break new literary ground write a book for those vets who dont jive on the "but my feelings..." outlook.
Yes that is what I am intending to do.
If I can achieve my intentions for the book. It would provide that following.
1. I dont want to put any Biographical info in it about my career.
2. I do however want to cover enough of my journey as you say "How I Feel" to provide context.
3. Then I intend to provide a familiarization of the Warfighter Culture. This is intended for the uninformed. I want the average civilian to come away from reading this part of the book with enough understanding of our culture so that they can relate to us. Understand our language and have able to understand the context that influences what we are going through.
4. Another big part will be a commentary on the sociological aspects that explain why our culture and the civilian culture is so divergent and that separation is increasing continuously at this period in history.
It's all a bit hard to explain, yet I do have a few examples of what I mean. I will refer to the military as a society in this descriptive. With a full and rich culture.
Military personnel for the most part join a separate society when they join up. We start as young civilians that are still trying to find our place in civilian society.
We are then acclimatized into the military. Most people do not understand that the the military society is one of the most well thought-out and constructed societies in the world. It has evolved over time with the aim of becoming more effective continuously. Yes like any society there have been problems, yet the successes far outweigh those.
Ok so if we accept that the military is a society, then it must be recognized that this society is the best example of joined diversity. I am not talking about ethnicity and such. I am talking about the huge diversity based upon what our job is in that society. So you end up with huge selection of sub-cultures. As an example the Infantry. You with me here?
For all of that diversity and insular association, every single person in this society is on the same sheet of music. Brothers and Sisters joined together in a common purpose.
Now when we come home. We find ourselves thrust into a different culture. To make it worse, civilian society does not recognize our culture as being just as valid as any other.
This was bore out by a very simple example I experienced. The first counselor I met with alienated me within the first ten minutes.
I made a very simple statement. "I am a Soldier" He shot right back with. "No you WERE a Soldier"
You see? He had no ability to understand that this was an insult to me. I earned that title and will always be a Soldier.
This has not always been the case. Let's step back in time a bit and look at an example of when our to societies were the closest it has ever been.
The setting is London Just after the Normandy Invasion in a local Pub.
A Tommy just off the beaches with a wound, now on leave at home to recover. Walks into the Pub his family has always gone to. This is a familiar and safe environment. He walks up to the bar and orders a pint. Standing next to him is a friend of the family. The Tommy feels like crap a bit from his D-Day experience. The family friend feels like crap because his neighbor's house was hit in a bombing raid and the whole family was killed.
So you see? at that point in time there was a contextually similar shared misery at work here. These two people while talking about mundane things will also be connecting on another level. They will both feel better for the simple exchange because they understand each other.
Now look at society today. The civilian experience of life in western society is vastly different from what much of the world is like. The world that our culture is designed to exist in. Even worse we are expected to reintegrate into civilian society by those around us. We are expected to throw our culture into the trash can, as being unfit for normal life.
Yet if I was to say I am Hispanic, every person that I say that to understands and accepts the validity of my cultural difference. We can relate and coexist under that consideration.
I know this is a bit long winded, yet that's why it will take a book to explain this fully. These subject are very complex.
Does any of this make sense so far?
If I do this correctly, I am hoping that it will also be beneficial to our fellow brothers and sisters.
It may act as a validation and affirmation influence.
"OK, I feel like crap. This book provides context that helps me understand that I have the right to feel like crap"
You see the worst thing I have had to deal with is accepting that I have some issues. That you can only "Suck it up" for so long.
I still feel I am undeserving. To me, I am supremely unremarkable. There are so many that have better reasons for feeling like crap.
You see?
So yes, with luck I can put something together that may make an impact.
