This is a feature I've been wanting to write for a while and finally got the chance to talk to the person on the phone I'm writing this about and managed to get the details I was looking for to flesh it out. He contacted me via the blog and gave me a quick rundown on his story - and I think that story bears telling. Rural folks - this one ain't for you. It's for those people trapped in places like Chicago, New York, LA, etc. I probably won't be publishing it on the blog and I consider it an exclusive feature for this forum - no reposting in any part or form outside of a short synopsis (one paragraph) is allowed outside of these forums and must be linked back to this post.
Anyway I get a LOT of email from the blog. Some of it asks for solutions to problems, advice, if I'll go train someone, etc. I also get emails that are like testimonials. Folks want to get their story out there and its related to the info I cover in the blog so they send it to me and ask me to relay it. This started as one of those emails.
We'll call this gentleman Dale. He's a late twenties guy that was living and working in New York City making enough to get by and have a fairly comfortable life. He had a plasma TV, gaming system with tons of games, cool phone, nice clothes, and a decent job. No college education but he had worked his butt off at the same place since he graduated high school and had managed to move up a bit into lower level management. According to him he was a "working class stiff making it". Dale was quite content with his life until the night of September 21st 2006 (he popped that date off like it was his birthday and in a way it was). Dale had popped out for a few drinks with some friends and on the way home he ran into trouble - serious trouble. As he describes it "One second I was walking down the sidewalk talking on my phone and the next thing I knew stars exploded and I was on the ground. I thought I had been runover by a car or something driving up on the sidewalk. That's when it went black". He doesn't remember anything else until he woke up a few days later still suffering from a severe concussion. He had several lacerations, broken bones, missing teeth, internal bruising on his organs, and he had blurry vision in one eye. Dale was found in a dumpster (the police say he was there for at least four or more hours) by a lady taking the trash out from her small business. His wallet was found (empty) but his cell phone, jewelry, shoes, and windbreaker were missing.
Dale had been the victim of a very nasty and completely random beating/robbery by a unknown number of assailants. Not an uncommon event in New York City but according to him but one he "never thought he'd be the victim of" (his own words). He never saw his attackers - he presumes he was struck from behind and his injuries substantiated that. The neighborhood he was walking through wasn't supposed to be a particularly bad one. Anyhow a day or so later after he woke up a Detective interviewed him to take a report. Dale describes the guy as "very professional but obviously not too concerned". Dale then related to me the question he asked that detective. He asked him if they were going to be able to catch the guys that did this to him. He said one of the worst feelings in the world was being told without a witness, description of the perps, or any physical evidence the chance would be slim to none and he was lucky to be alive and there was really little they could do. That was the last time Dale ever saw a LEO over this incident. They did call him to follow up and see if he had any more information and get descriptions of what he was missing but after that nada. Nothing. Dale says the one good thing they did do was give him a list of things to do - report credit cards stolen, call the cell company, etc.
I've been pretty lucky during my life despite having been in some of the crappiest bar district neighborhoods on the planet at the wee hours of the morning never to have had a situation like that and after reading and speaking with Dale I thank god I didn't. When I asked Dale how he felt during the time after the attack he used one word - "raped". That's a strong damn word and not one a guy like Dale would use lightly. But he's also quick to say he was lucky. Lucky to be alive. An executive from the company he worked for came to see him in the hospital and told him to take all the time he needed to heal his job would be waiting. His friends were there helping support him. And when he did get out of the hospital his coworkers had taken up a collection to help him pay for the portion of his hospital stay that his health insurance didn't cover. Later on they took another one up to help him buy some false teeth - he laughs when he calls it the "Help toothless fund". Proof even in a crappy place like NYC there are good people.
Another thing this attack did to Dale was harden his resolve to not be a victim again. Living in Bloomberg's "perfect city" he couldn't get a firearm but once he healed up enough he started hitting the gym and taking Tae Kwon Do. He read up on a lot of the popular literature about defending yourself and he regained his confidence. And then it happened again. As he was coming home one night (again after having a few drinks) he decided to let the cab driver off easy by having him drop him at the corner instead of in front of his apartment building. He didn't get fifty feet before he found himself confronted by four young black males who meant business. As he tensed up getting ready to fight a pistol appeared. Too far to physically engage the guy holding the pistol and he knew his martial arts training wasn't quite up to snuff yet enough to handle this. So he gave them his wallet, watch, phone, and other stuff. He says once they cleaned what little cash he had they did at least drop his wallet with his ID once they destroyed his phone. So he stood there and watched them walk down the sidewalk still pointing that pistol at him until they turned a corner. Once again the police came to take a report (this time at least he had descriptions) but it was a similar story form them "Be glad you're alive and uninjured especially after what happened to you before". And there was nothing else from the cops after that. Like he was supposed to be relieved he was only robbed. I asked Dale what happened and he calls it his "black period". He fell into depression. He quit working out and taking Tae Kwon Do classes. He didn't go out. He went through the motions at his job. That went on until his sister (who had been a rape victim) took him to meet the gal that counseled her after her attack. He told me they wanted him to start seeing a counselor or therapist but after that one meeting he had a realization. In that environment there's going to be more chances of no matter how you're prepared still being the victim. So he needed to leave. I asked him if he had an idea of where he wanted to go and he stated he didn't - he just knew he had to leave. Dale tells about that one realization being a sort of re-birth for him. He refocused his life. He started studying different places and found a good low cost of living area with a low crime rate. He called realtors and looked up houses and land for sale and rent in the areas he had chosen. He came up with a budget and he found himself short on cash. Instead of giving up Dale tells me that strengthened his resolve. He sold all of his luxuries - TV, game system, fancy clothes, etc. He quit smoking and drinking altogether. He volunteered for every bit of overtime he could get - including working for guys during holidays. He took up a work out regimen he could do at home without equipment. When he wasn't at work he was at home either working out (which he says saved his sanity after quitting smoking) or reading and researching for his move. It took him until February 2011 to finally get enough cash together to make his move. Dale gave his two weeks, sold everything he wasn't taking with him, and finally loaded his stuff in a junker he bought and headed south to Georgia. I won't say what city but after he got there he lived in his car for a few days hitting some companies up that he'd dropped resumes with until he got lucky and found a warehouse job that could start him immediately. Not great pay but good enough to survive in a small trailer he rented. He bought a shotgun and one of his coworkers showed him how to shoot. In late 2011 he met a gal with a couple of kids that owns a trailer and moved in with her (they're getting married in a month or so). By Dales account he hasn't got a lot of money but he doesn't need all those luxuries to be happy.
I asked Dale what brought him to the blog and he told me "I am never going to be a victim again". We're saving up to buy a small farm and we're going to become as self sufficient as possible. When I asked what motivated him to share his story with me he responded that he's seen a lot of people that live in those places cry about not being able to leave because of their job, family, etc. Dale faced all of those factors and did what he knew he had to do. To hear him tell it you'll come to the realization it wasn't easy - no way. Ramen for weeks until he couldn't stomach it anymore. Watching his friends go out and have fun without him. Having to develop the discipline to control himself (he describes his pre-attack personality as "excessive consumerism"). But he did it. His testimony is proof it can be done. When we spoke before we hung up I asked him to describe how he felt now. He paused and once again used one word - "liberated". From raped to liberated. That's a huge jump. But Dale will tell you if he could do it anyone can.
Dale brother, thanks for sharing.
