Beards, standard issue

[crudos]

http://www.duffelblog.com/2012/04/pentagon-study-finds-beards-directly-proportional-to-combat-effectiveness/

Sorry if already posted, but found it pretty funny.

Forget new gear, weapons, or sophisticated targeting systems. The newest tool coming to combat troops is low-tech: beards. In a report released yesterday, research think-tank Xegis Solutions noted that beards have a direct correlation to combat effectiveness.

Jonathon Burns was the lead researcher in the study.

?We took 100 soldiers. 25 were Special Forces qualified and had beards, 25 were Special Forces qualified without beards, 25 were regular Army allowed to grow beards for the study, and the last 25 were regular Army without beards. All 100 of these subjects were in direct combat in Afghanistan during the study.?

He continued, ?Xegis Solutions had several teams of researchers embedded with these troops to make observations on their combat effectiveness. The results were overwhelming, out of the 50 soldiers with beards, zero were wounded or killed and they had a significantly higher accuracy of fire than the soldiers without beards. The soldiers lacking beards had a higher rate of weapons malfunctions and basically, shit went wrong most of the time.?

CENTCOM wasted no time establishing a new rule forcing males to grow beards.

Commander Gen. James E. Mattis issued a statement to all troops in combat zones.

?The time has come for the Armed Forces to accept the facts, and the facts are that beards save lives. All this time it was speculated that Green Berets were better because of their superior and intensive training while in fact, most of it had to do with beards.?

There?s no doubt that many in the Special Forces community will be angered, but General Mattis is convinced.

?It?s settled science. In light of this information we will enforce a rule requiring all males to wear at least one inch of facial hair at all times. Furthermore, any females able to grow facial hair are encouraged to do so as well.?

[thatGuy]

Beards also make you a better lover, physically stronger, smell better and metal doesn't rust in my presence.

I don't understand it but it's how it works.

[CrookedSights]

Beards next to Sham Butter make a man unstoppable in combat and in all things.

[thatGuy]

If you got a beard, a full tub of shambutter and some oakley's you are slaying bodies. You don't even need a rifle just harsh stares will level your foe!

 [url=http://www.freesmileys.or

[special-k]

True story:  I was at the range and someone nearby was shooting a revolver (S&W .32 magnum).  When a lead shaving hit my neck, just on the edge of my overgrown beard, my hand quickly went to my neck as my reflexes made me duck.  Some other people saw me, realized what happened and asked if I was okay.  I picked the piece of lead out of my beard and said "yeah, my kevlar beard stopped it."  Everyone busted out laughing.  Need I say more....my beard to the rescue!

[rah45]

True story:  I was at the range and someone nearby was shooting a revolver (S&W .32 magnum).  When a lead shaving hit my neck, just on the edge of my overgrown beard, my hand quickly went to my neck as my reflexes made me duck.  Some other people saw me, realized what happened and asked if I was okay.  I picked the piece of lead out of my beard and said "yeah, my kevlar beard stopped it."  Everyone busted out laughing.  Need I say more....my beard to the rescue!

Okay, now we've GOT to see that epic beard!

[RS762]

Damn right
Beards should be standard issue

[special-k]

Okay, now we've GOT to see that epic beard!

That incident was few years ago.  My beard is not so epic at the moment.  However I did let it get wiley during the winter, but I tamed it recently.....just in time for for the warm weather (split tail season.)

[CrystalHunter1989]

But what about beard thickness? Style? Length? Kimbo Slice or Clint Eastwood?

[thatGuy]

More like this,



Less like this,



And remember,



It's the man that makes the beard not the otherway round.

[EJR914]

Beards kick ass, end of fucking story!

In the primary, all day long, slaying bodies.  Good to go?

[sledge]

This thread is funny!  LOL!

The man with the shorter beard stands down.  LOL!  Oh man, that's good good stuff! 

[CrookedSights]

And remember,



It's the man that makes the beard not the otherway round.

Got an interview next week had to shave it  , Guess I'm a submissive bitch now