Author Topic: Need Some Help  (Read 982 times)

Offline JohnyMac

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Need Some Help
« on: April 06, 2016, 12:15:52 PM »
I and several other folks have started a business called Navigator Business Solutions (www.navigatorbiz.com). We have for all intents and purposes launched the company today. It has been on the web as we developed it but has been very low key.

APX and Crudos have both been very helpful in getting the site off the ground. 

In short, it is a, small - medium business consulting group. My partner Charlie and I have worked together over much of our lives on many different projects so I am looking forward to the partnership.

What I need from you folks is to go to the site and try to BREAK IT! Let me know what works and doesn't. All comments and enhancements will be appreciated!

Thanks
JohnyMac



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Offline Nemo

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Re: Need Some Help
« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2016, 06:07:13 PM »
I could send it a pic of me but that would break the whole internet.

Seriously, I posted a pic of me, from 100 feet away with most of the light from behind me, almost in silhouette on another forum I visit.  About 20 minutes later that site crashed.  It took 2 days to get back up.

I don't want to do that to your site.  I will let the rest of the folks around here hack it.

Nemo
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Offline special-k

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Re: Need Some Help
« Reply #2 on: April 06, 2016, 07:21:53 PM »
I can't stop looking at Dan Miller's ears.   :P
"It wouldn't do any good.  I've had the shit beat out of me a lot of times.  I just replenish with more shit."  - Billy McBride

Offline crudos

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Re: Need Some Help
« Reply #3 on: April 06, 2016, 09:10:53 PM »
I can't stop looking at Dan Miller's ears.   :P
If you need a special show SK, maybe we can snapchat or whatever the kids use these days?  :trolling:

Offline JohnyMac

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Re: Need Some Help
« Reply #4 on: April 06, 2016, 09:14:58 PM »
Well you guys have been a BIG help.  :sarcasm:
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Offline special-k

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Re: Need Some Help
« Reply #5 on: April 06, 2016, 09:19:32 PM »
I can't stop looking at Dan Miller's ears.   :P
If you need a special show SK, maybe we can snapchat or whatever the kids use these days?  :trolling:
Am I hallucinating...or is there something abnormal there...like those hoop insert body-mod thingamabobs only worn by trendy leftist types?  :what:
« Last Edit: April 06, 2016, 09:44:54 PM by special-k »
"It wouldn't do any good.  I've had the shit beat out of me a lot of times.  I just replenish with more shit."  - Billy McBride

Offline Nemo

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Re: Need Some Help
« Reply #6 on: April 06, 2016, 10:30:53 PM »
Who is Dan Miller?

Nemo
If you need a second magazine, its time to call in air support.

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Offline JohnyMac

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Re: Need Some Help
« Reply #7 on: April 07, 2016, 09:02:55 AM »
Dan Miller = Talented avant-garde IT graphic artist. He did the artwork for Unchainedpreppers and Navigator Business Solutions.  :pirateThumbUp:
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Offline Well-Prepared Witch

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Re: Need Some Help
« Reply #8 on: April 07, 2016, 09:05:27 AM »
Using Google Chrome I found a few issues.

When I hover over the menu it drops down, but then when I try to hover over one of the menu options it closes the drop down.  For instance, I can click the top menu "services", but I can't open the "services" menu and click "consulting".

On the "About Us" page the pictures show up teeny tiny, like eighth of an inch high.

From an editing POV (hope you don't mind - this is one of my strong suits and something I've done professionally and for fun), there were several structural, punctuation, and grammatical errors that need to be addressed.  I only reviewed two pages, but here are the notes from those two.  Also, I didn't mention all the lists that could have used the Oxford comma - I know not everyone uses it for some bizarre reason. (OK, that last comment is only funny if you're a complete nerd about editing like I am.)

About us page:

Quality of Work Life – Our team are our most valuable asset. Consequently, we will attract the best in the industry to serve our clients needs ----- should be "client's" with an apostrophe as it's possessive

Community – Give back to the communities we live and work in.  ----- you have a dangling participle.  Should be "Give back to the communities in which we live and work."

joining forces in 2015 with the talented business consultant and long time business associate John McEwing from Unchained Business Solutions. ----- not really a spelling/grammar/punctuation thing so much as a recommendation - take out the word "talented" here.  It sounds a little florid and over-the-top, no matter if it's true or not. :D

realized that many small businesses where continuing ----- should be "were" continuing.

"Great Recession" should be capitalized

John’s vision was simple enough. ----- this is a fragment.  Consider either linking it to the next sentence (though I fear that might cause a run-on sentence) or expanding on it.

that, in short order, get agreed upon results  ----- commas not needed here

 like; The Gap ----- semicolon not needed here

serving on his towns Coastal Management, Planning  ----- town's needs an apostrophe - it's possessive
 
participating in the states Meals on Wheels program. ----- should say "state's" with an apostrophe as it's possessive

 This dual residencies allows ----- this dual residency - this is singular, residency needs to also be singular, or change to "These dual residencies" so both are plural, but that doesn't make sense in the vernacular.

active lifestyle of; boating ----- semicolon not needed here

Rick is skilled to assist and partner with counsel  ----- think about rewording, maybe to "Rick assists and partners with counsel".  Actually, the whole following paragraph needs to be condensed and reworded.  Semicolon usage where periods should be cause this to be a run-on sentence, or where commas should be indicating continuance of a list.  It's also a little grandiose with such phrases as "all facets of corporate governance" - who really is skilled at ALL facets of corporate governance?  Pick his specialties and where he'll be focused in his position and highlight those.  Reword "the development of professional development" as it comes across as redundant, though I understand what you're trying to get across.

Rick is also well known for giving back to his community since creating after school programs. ----- end the sentence at "to his community".  Then start "He created after school..."

Rick and his Labrador Retriever divide time in Rhode Island by working on their 1890’s Victorian home and Vermont where Rick is a member of the Killington Snow Sports School and Professional Ski Instructors of America. ----- "divide their time between RI, where he works on his" (as much of a dog-person as I am, it doesn't read professionally to include the dog as an owner).  Comma after home to complete the aside about what he does in RI.  Comma after Vermont.

Sebastian has been professionally developing applications for more than 11 years working for big companies like Intel, Sony, Verizon and Orbitz among others.  ----- what kind of apps?  I recommend adding a word (smartphone? Web?) and a period after years.  Then delete "working for big companies like" and replacing it with "He's worked for many major tech industry companies including" and drop "among others".

Sebastian is a computer security and cryptography enthusiast and because of loving stock trading he started http://AnalisisTecnico.com.ar the first free site to do technical analysis on Argentinian stocks and bonds.      ----- Period after enthusiast.  Next sentence should be "he combined his love of stock trading with his technical expertise to start Analisis Tecnico (web address in parentheses), the first free...

Dan has been working in various aspect of  ----- aspects, plural

One of his favorite aspects ----- repeat of the word aspect.  I recommend finding another term.


Success stories page:

Well after some ----- comma after "well", or delete the word "well" altogether.

store and it’s employees ----- should be "its", no apostrophe.  The apostrophe signifies the contraction of "it is".  When the word is possessive there's no apostrophe.

employees where running ----- employees "were" running.  Also, you might want to indicate how they were running the manager and not vice versa - you may want to show how you can add a process or value here instead of showing you're just going to go in and fire managers (even if that really was the best/most needed option in this case).

have a NCO ----- have "an" NCO

The owner couldn’t understand why as in the beginning when he purchased the business the business was great. ----- couldn't understand why what?  Also, repeat of the word business.  Try "The owner was at a loss to understand why the high-performing business became unprofitable so quickly after they purchased it."  Again, needs some specifics as to how the business was running him - this is a good theme, but needs specific examples to support and this would be a good opportunity to show what your Building Block plan would do/how it addressed the issues.

the previous years sales ----- year's - apostrophe is needed for possessive

owners transactions ----- owner's - apostrophe is needed for possessive



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Offline JoJo

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Re: Need Some Help
« Reply #9 on: April 07, 2016, 09:34:51 AM »
WQW she knows her stuff!
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Offline thatGuy

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Re: Need Some Help
« Reply #10 on: April 07, 2016, 10:26:08 AM »
So... no more PERSEC John? not something that's happening anymore?

Offline JohnyMac

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Re: Need Some Help
« Reply #11 on: April 07, 2016, 12:06:38 PM »
You are right of course TG. In reality I am bored and some extra money coming in wouldn't hurt either.

My partner Charlie and I have a lot of experience in business (Retail, Grocery, Restaurants, etc) and IMO, it is a shame to not share our real life experiences with folks who need some help. Comparing our fee's to what similar consulting firms charge in Boston, NY, Philly, DC these struggling small to medium business are crazy not to hire NBS.

Wellie, WOW! Thank you for your comments! They are VERY MUCH appreciated. I will share with the team. 
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Offline thatGuy

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Re: Need Some Help
« Reply #12 on: April 07, 2016, 03:52:52 PM »
You're right there John, your talents shouldn't languish when they could be applied! I was more concerned about you and who's-it's names being out there in connection to this webpage.. there are some unsavory sorts around here... I'm looking at you Special-K ;)

Offline JohnyMac

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Re: Need Some Help
« Reply #13 on: April 07, 2016, 07:03:24 PM »
Gee thanks TG, I just shot a load of wine out of my mouth towards my computer screen "there are some unsavory sorts around here... I'm looking at you Special-K"...

Ok...OK I just let my dog tongue phuck the laptop to clean it up. Ok...OK I have regained my composure ...I will stop swearing.

Thank you for your concern TG. Of course you are 100% correct in the PERSEC area. I have tried to be as circumspect as possible, e.g We did not name our spouses or pets in the "About Us" section of the new business site. With that written, we are still at a greater risk now.

The next time we chat 1:1 remind me to retell to you the guy who walked into our cabin several weeks ago, unannounced, who was met by a crazy Scotchman pointing a Browning Hi-Power at his head.

When he left his jeans were stained.

Some crazy crap is coming down the pike man.  :tinfoil: 
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Offline thatGuy

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Re: Need Some Help
« Reply #14 on: April 07, 2016, 08:51:39 PM »
In fairness I've always had a standing offer and lousy PERSEC but I know your dog is a saint :O