Unchained Preppers

Off Topic/ B.S. => Trench Humor => Topic started by: JoJo on November 29, 2018, 08:57:47 PM

Title: That's some parrot!
Post by: JoJo on November 29, 2018, 08:57:47 PM

                A guy is browsing in a  pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little  perch.

                 
                   
                 
                 
                    It doesn't  have any feet or legs. 

                   
                 
                 
                    The guy says  aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this  parrot.?'


                The parrot says, 'I  was born this way.

                I'm a defective  parrot.'

                 
                'Holy crap,' the guy  replies.

                   
                 
                 
                    'You  actually understood and answered me.  !'

                 
                'I got every word,'  says the parrot.

                   
                 
                 
                    'I happen to  be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated  bird'

                'Oh yeah?' the guy  asks.

                   
                 
                 
                    'Then answer  this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any  feet.?'

                'Well,' the parrot  says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you  asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar,  like a little hook.

                   
                 
                 
                    You can't  see it, because of my  feathers.'

                 
                'Wow,' says the guy. 

                   
                 
                 
                    'You really  can understand, and can speak English, can't  you.?'

                'Actually, I speak  both Spanish and English, and I can converse with  reasonable competence on almost any topic,  politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. 

                   
                 
                 
                    I'm  especially good at  ornithology.

                   
                 
                 
                    You really  ought to buy me, I'd be a great  companion.'

                 
                The guy looks at the  $200.00 price tag.

                   
                 
                 
                    'Sorry, but  I just can't afford that.'

                'Pssssssst,' says the  parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody  wants me, cause I don't have any feet. 

                   
                 
                 
                    You can  probably get me for $20, just make the guy an  offer.!'

                The guy offers $20,  and walks out with the parrot.

                Weeks go by. 

                   
                 
                 
                    The parrot  is sensational.

                He has a great sense  of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he  understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's  insightful.

                   
                 
                 
                    The guy is  delighted.


                One day the guy comes  home from work, and the parrot goes,  'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one  wing.

                   
                 
                 
                    'I don't  know if I should tell you this or not, but it's  about your wife, and the UPS man.'

                'What are you talking  about,?' asks the guy.

                'When the UPS man  delivered a package today, your wife greeted him  at the door, in a sheer black  nightie.'


                'WHAT???' the guy asks  incredulously.

                   
                 
                 
                    'THEN what  happened?'

                'Well, then the UPS  man came into the house, and lifted up her  nightie, and began petting her all over,' reported  the parrot.

                'NO!' he exclaims,  'and she let him.?'

                 
                'Yes. 

                   
                 
                 
                    Then he  continued taking off the nightie, got down on his  knees, and began to kiss her all  over.'

                Then the frantic guy  demands, 'THEN WHAT  HAPPENED.?'

                DUNNO?!? I got an erection, and fell off my  perch.!'   

Title: Re: That's some parrot!
Post by: Erick on November 30, 2018, 12:04:55 PM

HaHa   :dance:

Title: Re: That's some parrot!
Post by: patriotman on November 30, 2018, 01:09:05 PM

 :bravo: