Unchained Preppers

Off Topic/ B.S. => Trench Humor => Topic started by: JoJo on October 31, 2015, 09:41:04 PM

Title: Aches, Pains, and Bodily Functions
Post by: JoJo on October 31, 2015, 09:41:04 PM
Aches, Pains, and Bodily Functions

 

Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions.
 
A 70 year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee."
 
The 80 year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement."
 
The 90 year old man says, "At seven I pee like a horse, and at eight I crap like a cow."
 
"So what's your problem?" ask the others.
 
"I don't wake up until nine!"
Title: Re: Aches, Pains, and Bodily Functions
Post by: JohnyMac on November 05, 2015, 08:48:04 AM
Ha, ha, ha.

My 59 year old complaint is my right hip. I can't sleep on my right side. Going up stairs I have to start with my left foot.

Anyhow I mentioned to my DR. the last time I saw him and he informed me it's not my hip It is a nerve that goes down the outside of my hip bone. He called it, " Meralgia Paraesthetica" (SP). Told me to start doing lunges while holding weights. Also to take 3 Advil before I go to bed.

My neighbor mixed me up a batch of Turmeric, Coconut oil and Pepper to take daily. Not the best flavor combination however I will report back to see if it helps.  ;)
Title: Re: Aches, Pains, and Bodily Functions
Post by: Nemo on November 05, 2015, 06:52:35 PM
30 couple years ago I crashed a car and had a frac/disloc of my right hip.  Lost about 1/3 of the ball of the femur.  Back then ortho doc said 10 to 15 years and I would need replacement.  If I were good boy, did what mom said, said prayers before bed, ate my vegetables and all that I might go 20.

Ended up with it being done last Nov.  (31 years)   Doc said it would take him 85-95 mins to do the replacement.  Actually took him 135 due to arthritis, damage and bad wear on the hip socket.  But he did the replacement.  Leg length is perfect so he did most excellent job!

Trade ya hips?

Nemo
Title: Re: Aches, Pains, and Bodily Functions
Post by: JohnyMac on November 07, 2015, 07:30:21 AM
LOL Nemo. No I will keep my hip at the moment  ;)

I have know of two folks who have had hip replacements, one a forum member (1000 meter stare). Both men never wanted to get a new hip however they both rave about their new hip after the job was done.

Glade that you got yours done Nemo....I bet you are glad too.
Title: Re: Aches, Pains, and Bodily Functions
Post by: Nemo on November 07, 2015, 09:40:52 PM
Anyone need a doc recommendation?  I can give you the name of a most excellent hip doc, along with sports medicine.  He also was a pro baseball pitcher.

As far as feet, I can send you the name and contact info on the best hind foot doctor east of the Mississippi river.  He has come up with several procedures that are now used as standard repair for that type of injury.

So if you need the best . . ..  Particularly on the foot.

Nemo
Title: Re: Aches, Pains, and Bodily Functions
Post by: brat on November 08, 2015, 08:34:45 AM
 :what:
Title: Re: Aches, Pains, and Bodily Functions
Post by: Nemo on November 08, 2015, 09:46:04 AM
Or you can go with this.

Nemo



(http://i.imgur.com/MBc5LNg.jpg)